Few pseudo-people in the modern world are acquainted with Internet Deprivation Disorder (from here on referred to as its more colloquial moniker: IDD (not to be confused with Freud's infant sex cokefiend brain demon)). In a locality as technologically and culturally advanced as Seaside Heights, the high levels of IDD come as a surprise to most, and, much to the bemoaning of his humble and sometimes outspoken and most of the times non-existent readership, CP contracted one of the afflictions most deadly strains: blogger IDD (from here on referred to as its more colloquial moniker: BIDD (not to be confused with what your tech-savvy great aunt does on eBay). BIDD's ill effects are twofold, first denying the blogger his/her ability to blog, then afterwards leading the infected to reflect on his/her status as a blogger, which in turn results in some pretty awful reflectionitis concerning the caverns of depravity one must reach to be morphed into a blogger in the first place/the existence of nearly every reality show/bro culture/guido culture/pretty much every culture excluding that of said reflecting blogger, which is blogger culture. Wrap your head around that. Things just go downhill from there, as you can imagine.Symptoms of IDD/BIDD
1. Alcoholism
2. Sadomasochistic Watching of ESPN
3. Doing Laundry
4. Organizing of sufferer's iTunes Library
5. Acute Racism
6. Constant Consumption of Quizno's
7. Visual/Auditory Hallucinations
8. Irritability in regards to characters talking to themselves in TV shows/movies
9. Taking Nappys
Carmen has taken to living a colonial lifestyle, more or less. Lots of thinking about the Articles of Confederation, the Stamp Act, harvest, stuff like that. Here are some movie micro-reviews:
UP: 5 Strawberries
Terminator Salvation: 2 Strawberries
Drag Me to Hell: 4 1/2 Strawberries
The Hangover: 4 Strawberries
Away We Go: 4 1/2 Strawberries
The Limits of Control: 1/2 Strawberry
Adventureland: 4 Strawberries
If BIDD persists, the world may never know if Carmen preferred UP to WALL-E, or how many strawberries Veckatimest received, or how the entire NBA Finals depends on Orlando's outside shooting, or how bad Zadie Smith is at writing dialogue, or which Goslin kid is cutest, or so many more ors. Things could be worse, though. Toodle loo.
