When Carmen and TCS attended a Mastodon concert circa June 2007, a strange occurrence took place: after a fifteen-year-old slime master ODed on pig tranquilizers and had to be dragged away by concert security, a visibly drunk wigger accosted CP+TCS about the transcendent eminence of Atlanta's most celebrated metal band. He said that Mastodon could appeal to a stupid wigger like him because it was real music, and then he moved on to try to give his spiel to 6'5" hipster that consequently threatened to punch him(wigger) in the face, literally balling his(hipster's) fist and performing that fast arm-jerk that supposedly denotes punch-potential but kinda looks like that Rookie of the Year involuntary convulsion. Needless to say, that wigger was the one wigger who was ever right about anything. Mastodon's new CD, Crack the Skye, is a harken back to 70's album craft, tinged with psychedelia and otherworldly digressions while still maintaining that doom gallop of the apocalyptic cavalry and bad trip lyrics and their obsession with Rasputin and the Elephant Man. Occasionally, a band works to craft an actual album, where the dynamics work on a song-by-song basis and still stretch over the album as a whole, and it makes CP :) that people still manage to strive for stuff like that in this forsaken musical landscape, no matter how high they are when they do it. On a side note, Rasputin, the famed Russian mystic/healer from the early 20th Century who was murdered for his increasing influence over the Czarist regime, had his penis excised at death, and the severed genitalia has been working its way across the world, rumors say, although some persist that the supposed remains are cucumber and geoduck. Rasputin's 12-inch member can, according to reports, cure impotency on sight.
1 comment:
Tirpak remembers me being inside his house. I don't remember it ever happening (the happening). Slam swore up and down that I told him Vin Diesel was half black (he is) but I didn't remember. Oddly enough, I do not remember said Wigger from that evening, but only Matt Lincoln. I'll obviously take your memory before mine though (even if you don't remember me telling you about "Texas" first and foremost). Looks like the drugs have caught up.
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