A Fake Mugging That Probably Wasn't Fake But Was Certainly Real in Experiential Terms But In Mugging Terms Who Really Knows

      Butt Bridge, Dublin, Ireland, Europe, Earth, Milky Way Galaxy, Universe.  In broad daylight, the two pale, male, handsome tourists snap panoramic views of the easing mass of alluvium that is the Liffey River.  They navigate camera menus.  They are satisfied with the photographic results.  A squat, bull-doggish Irishman turns a corner, heading North, angrily passing through a few idlers, onto the mostly deserted bridge, towards the tourists.  Trash and refuse bob in the Liffey.  The tourists start back across the Butt.  Increasing his speed, sending glances in a bunch of directions, the Irishman nears them, changing his vector abruptly as they go parallel, sort of bumping into the less-extremely-dangerous-looking of the two tourists.  We shall call him (the tourist) Mr. Cool.

     "Money," says the Irishman, lowly, eyes darting.

     The tourists continue undeterred.  Some contact is made with the man.  Everyone stops.

     "Money.  Money," repeats the Irishman, to Mr. Cool, completely ignoring Mr. Cool's co-traveler.  We shall call him Carmen, although he isn't really important in the story.

     Looks are exchanged.  "I don't have any money," says Mr. Cool.

     The Irishman pushes closer, his voice moving to a slurred whisper.  "Empty your fucking pockets.  Your wallet.  Everything.  Come on."

     Keeping his cool, Mr. Cool reaches into his jeans and produces a handful of change.  "I only have coins.  I don't have--

     The Irishman's countenance does a 180.  Suddenly, he is very happy about seemingly everything.  A ravaged smile comes across his face.  "Just kidding, fellas."  With a clap on Mr. Cool's back he prances away from the tourists, heading South on Butt Bridge.  

     After nearly a week's worth of heated, abstract debate, Carmen and TCS decided that the happening was not the product of a twisted Irishman's sense of humor, but a real and true mugging that became a fake mugging but remains still a real mugging, even though they were never mugged, but they were, mugged that is.  Above is a recreation of the scene, based of composites drawn from the witnesses, who were also the victims, that weren't actually victims, but were.  Crime is a complex art form.